User blog:TendoTheGamer/Paper Toad Fanon - Story
And thus begins thy cringe. Welcome to Paper Toad Fanon, the story of several Toads standing out in Color Splash, due to every Toad NPC being generic. These Toads are the last hope to a good Paper Mario game. Here's the main character list, via Toads: Tendo - Blue Toad with a Top Hat Ari - Cyan Toad with a Fedora Ice - Red Toad with a Striped Shirt Destify - Orange Toad with a Eyepatch Quaunt - Green Toad with a Potato Pikells - Purple Toad with a Burger King Crown Masta - Yellow Toad with a Trash Can Hat Rex - Pink Toad with a Knight Helmet Mage - Rainbow Toad with Pink Bow, Chainsaw, and Godzilla Plushie strapped to their back Let the story begin. Chapter 1: Toadall Recall Nintendo, Japan.. In the main Nintendo building, located in Japan, they had just released a trailer for the new Wii U game "Paper Mario Color Splash". This was the fifth installment in the game, and a huge disappointment due to Nintendo ignoring what their fans wanted. Quickly, one of the employees, Bob, ran towards Miyamoto, a relevant Nintendo worker, who was the one who sent this idea. Bob: M'lord! Fans are giving negative results to Paper Mario: Color Splash! Also our video of it has more dislikes then likes. Miyamoto: ! Bob: what Miyamoto: They don't enjoy the idea? Then we must give something that all our fans want! Bob: You mean make another Thousand Year Door, like they've always wanted? Miyamoto: KEK! NO! MAKE EVERY NPC A GENERIC TOAD, AND MAKE IT A STICKER STAR REMAKE! Quickly, Miyamoto slammed his hand onto a red button. This button would activate the machine that doomed the world of Paper Mario, forever. And I mean mostly forever by saying forever. Paper Mario, Grassy Plains.. A blue Toad wearing a top hat was walking through the grassy plains of the joyful paper world. No white outlines were on him like the normal days, and he was perfectly fine. But suddenly, a figure came running towards him. It was another Paper Toad. But they had white outlines all over them, and several more of these generic red Toads were behind him. Tendo, the Blue Toad, jumped back in fear and confusion. Tendo: What the heck are you? Toad: HELP! MIYAMOTO..TURNED US INTO GENERIC TOADS! WHITE OUTLINES! WE--'' Before they finished, Tendo smashed into their face with a large rock. He then picked up the large rock, and kept smashing it down and down, shredding the Toad entirely. Then the Blue Toad with a Tophat pulled out a random lighter, and set the shreds on fire. The other Toads ran for the nearby town, Tendo sighing in relief. Little did he know, they were infected. A very spreadable infection they had. ''Toad Town.. A yellow Toad was in Toad Town, alongside several other colored and well designed Toads. The Toad was named Dio, who was one of the DBF Users, who was in peace. But then one of the generic Toads jumped at him, biting his face, and clawing him to near death. A few seconds later, the Toad jumped off, leaving Dio to be turned into a Red Toad, with white outlines. The same generic Toad as usual. The Generic Toads began running around and infecting the Toads, including a edgey black colored Toad with swords. Mountain, with a view of that Toad Town.. Up in the forest were several dank memers, who memed in the trees alone. However, a Cyan Toad wearing a fedora leaped out of the tree, knocking a Pepe off the mountain upon landing. Ari was this Toad. He looked over the horizon, then seeing the apocalypse itself starting, several Generic Toads. The Toad Town from down there was infected, now everyone being a generic Red Toad with white outlines. Ari: oh snap waddup Behind him leaped out two more Toads, which were memed Toads as well. One was the very definition of trash, who was yellow and wearing a trash can on his head, while the other was green with a potato taped to his head. The yellow one wearing trash, and holding a Chara bodypillow and a Sans bodypillow, was named Masta. The green one with the potato was named Quaunt. Masta: wat Masta and Quaunt walked over, looking and seeing the apocolypse starting. A figure appeared behind them, which they first thought was one of the generic Toads. Masta: AGH! IT'S SO UGLY! Quaunt: KILL IT WITH FIRE! IT'S A GENERIC INFECTED TOAD--'' The Toad, however, was blue with a top hat on. Tendo from earlier. ''Tendo: I'm not infected. Quaunt: IT'S STILL UGLY! Quaunt quickly ripped out a bush beside him, throwing it at Tendo, who was hit by the bush. Masta pulled out a trash can full of Homestuck body pillows, and began smacking Tendo with it. Tendo managed to push back Masta, then saying: Tendo: I said I'm not infected! Quaunt/Ari: o Tendo sighed in relief. Tendo: So, the apocolypse has started, so what the heck do we do now? Masta: meh i'm going back to homestuck The trashy Toad began walking away, but Tendo grabbed him and pulled him back over, then preparing to plan. But then Ari spotted a normal Toad, who was surrounded by the Generic Toads. Near Toad Town.. Rex, a Pink Toad wearing a Knight Helmet, was surrounded by multiple Generic Toads, and was back at a wall. He picked up a stick to fit his hat's likely duties, and began slashing away at the Toads with it. It wasn't very effective.. The rebelling Toads ran down there quickly, but still weren't arriving in time. Tendo: MASTA! YOU CAN'T JUST STOP TO START MAKING OUT WITH YOUR SANS BODY PILLOW EVERY FEW SECONDS! Rex was trying to feed the generic Toad a banana. Where he found it, it's best not to ask. Quaunt: wait tendo Tendo: What? Quaunt waited a few seconds before responding. Quaunt: you're trash btw Quaunt then began running forward, Tendo following behind, and Ari and Masta as well. But before they got there, it was too late..except it sorta wasn't, because another Toad saved Rex. Mage, a rainbow Toad with a chainsaw, pink bow, and a Godzilla plushie strapped to her back, cut several of the generic Toads in half with her chainsaw, leaving nothing but shreds left. Tendo, Ari, Quaunt, and Masta arrived to Mage and Rex. A''ri: we were gonna do that ''Tendo: well, those toads didn't make the cut Booing occured at Tendo's pun. Tendo: k Masta: so what now Tendo: we save the world Tendo cued the generic edgey as heck anime ending credits, as the new team, the Toad Rebellion, ran off to find more Generic Toads to beat the crap out of. And thus ends the prolouge act of the cringiest adventure of them all. Chapter 2: Rebellion Rising Five seconds after the events of Chapter 1, in Toad Town.. Tendo, Masta, Quaunt, Ari, Mage, and Rex stood there, thinking, while a apocolypse went on around the town. Masta: so what now Tendo: uh Ari: beat nintendo to near death until they cancel color splash Tendo: that works The rebels then ran off to go find any way outside of their papery world, so they could defeat Nintendo once and for all, and cancel Color Splash. Mage: Where are we going anyways? Tendo: Well, to defeat the company, we need to make our way out of the video game first. They all turn towards the screen. Ari: so break the screen Rex: k Rex ran forward, leaping up, and smashing himself against the screen of the Wii U. This sent all of the team out of it, into the Nintendo building in Japan, outside into the real world. The Real World, Nintendo.. Only one problem. Due to being in the Wii U, they were all shrunk to small sizes. Like Ant-Man. Or Smurfs. Or a bug. A bug works best as an example/ They landed on a couch in a living room located towards the top of Nintendo Inc. Ari and Masta began getting up on the leathered sofa, Tendo, Mage, Rex, and Quaunt standing up after them. But a new, and human sized foe appeared before them. One who was one of Nintendo's most powerful weapons. He was in a suit and shades, and was made of metal. He was known as.. Reggie Fils-Amech. Filsamech: ENEMY DETECTED. ENGAGING IN COMBAT--'' ''Ari: wait what since when were you relevan--'' Filsamech took off his sunglasses, blasting red lasers forward. Tendo, Quaunt, and Ari jumped to one side of the sofa. Masta, Mage, and Rex jumped onto the other side. The couch was cut in half from the laser. Masta stood up, and picked up Rex. ''Masta: EAT MY OWN TRASH The trashy Toad ran forward, throwing Rex towards Reggie Fils-Amech, who was preparing to release a beatdown on the robotic Nintendo of America President. Rex: FALCON PUNCH--'' Before Rex finished his attack, Fils-Amech moved his knee up and hit Rex into the air. After that, Reggie took off his shades to fire lasers at Rex, until Quaunt suddenly grabbed a random small mirror, then throwing it at Reggie. The mirror went in front of Rex, reflectin Reggie's lasers into his face, melting it, causing him to fall back and fall through the windows behind him. But before he did.. ''Filsamech: YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE. NOW THE GENERIC TOADS WILL BE RELEASED INTO THE WORLD, AND ALL HUMANS EFFECTED BY THEM WILL BE LIKE GIANT GENERIC ZOMBIE TOADS. AND REMEMBER.. Reggie adjusted his shades while falling. Filsamech: I'LL BE BACKK--'' Then Filsamech got hit by a airplane. ''Ari: did anyone even hear anything he just said he was already falling off the building while saying it Tendo: shrug Masta: tendo you can't just say shrug you have to shrug--'' But what Reggie predicted then happened, thousands of Generic Red Toads falling out of the Wii U. They went out the windows, building, or some just walking around there. Now, the rebel Toads were surrounded by Generic Toads, and had to find there way into the city as quick as possible. But now, the hero Toads, and the last Toads, were in the real world now. Chapter 3: Generic against Original ''Nintendo Building.. The six rebels stood on the couch, now surrounded by Generic Toads. But then Tendo suddenly pulled out a Strawpoll, from the website. Tendo: Alright, the results are in! The fans say we should split up into two groups of three for our current task. Mage: What results? Then Tendo began strategizing. Tendo: Quaunt, Ari, and Masta, you'll be the Meme Squad. You guys go deeper into the Nintendo building, trying to avoid Generic Toads, and attempt defeating and finding Miyamoto. Rex, Mage, and I, will go out into the city to protect any humans from the escaped Generic Toads. And so the two teams set off. The Meme Squad went over the top of the couch, while the Dank Squad went towards one of the windows. The City, Dank Squad's Side.. Now equipped with Attack on Titan 3D Manuever Gear, Tendo, Mage, and Rex were quickly swinging out of the building to go find the Generic Toads. Some were climbing to humans necks to bite them and spread the infection. The Dank Squad landed, Mage slicing a Toad in half, and Rex kicking one off a guys forehead. Tendo leaped into the air, stabbing through a Generic Toad with both swords. The three looked forward seeing a stage, with Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders standing on it. The two Communist that are trying to doom the world, which had multiple Generic Toads crawling towards them. Mage: Should we--'' ''Tendo: No, it's better for America if Trump wins. The Generic Toads leaped up, tearing and biting apart Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, brutally murdering them both in a very painful death. The Dank Squad went on. Suddenly, a bus passed by the trio, which they leaped onto. However, it was swarming with Generic Toads, some even riding flys as a attempt of flight. The bugs were infected, so they were the color of the Toads, with white outlining. Rex: I have an idea! Rex pulled out a waffle and threw it onto the top of the bus. Rex: here flyiey flyieyyyy come to your oniichan~ Generic Toad: ... Rex: dotdotdot The Generic Toad gave up on life and jumped off the fly, then dying and splatting on the ground. Tendo and Mage looked behind Rex in confusion, and just stood there for a bit, not saying anything, but just looking at Rex in confusion, while he ate his waffle. But then they realized everyone in the bus was turned into a Generic Toad, and so the bus was heading straight towards a wall. Tendo: WAIT CRA--'' ''Meanwhile, at Nintendo, and with Pink Panther music playing.. Masta, Ari, and Quaunt were sneaking away out of the living room to make it into a kitchen. However, upon arriving there, they met the foe they were looking for the entire time. Miyamoto. After all the long five seconds of searching. Then Miyamoto pulled out a shotgun, pointing it forward. Miyamoto: i've been onto you skrubs Ari: stalker i'm sueing Miyamoto: You dare try to cancel the game we made that NOBODY wanted!? KEKEKEKEKLEKELEKLEKLEWKELKELEKLEKELKEK YOUR GRAVES SHALL BE COVERED IN MAYONAISE AND SPRINKLES Masta: what Quaunt: so can we kill him now Miyamoto shot Quaunt. Masta: HOLY--MIYAMOTO SHOT QUAUNT! Ari: k Quaunt: ok who cares Masta: oh yeh Quaunt: so are you ready to surrender to us Miyamoto: wait what i just shot you Quaunt: ye but i'm paper now so i'm invincible Then Quaunt leaped upwards, landing onto the ground, and boosting himself off. Miyamoto shot another bullet at Quaunt, but Quaunt caught it, spinning mid air, and throwing the bullet directly into Miyamoto's face. This knocked the Nintendo worker down, as Quaunt landed, Ari and Masta coming behind him. But then a door was slammed open, Reggie Fils-amie walking in. In his hand, he held a bird cage. In the cage were Tendo, Mage, and Rex. He captured them after the bus crash. Reggie: i have your friends surrender Quaunt: can we just leave and let you kill them Reggie: yes Quaunt: ok bye Masta: bye Ari: bye The Meme Squad began walking away, until Tendo, Mage, and Rex easily slipped out of the cage due to being paper. This enraged Reggie, making him press a button which locked up all the doors in the building. Now, the Rebels, Miyamoto, and Reggie were all trapped in the kitchen, Only one side would come out alive. Would the Rebel Heroes live on to save the world, or would Color Splash be released? Well, the answ-- Chapter 4: Nintendon't Nintendo Building.. Reggie and Miyamoto stood in front of the several rebels. They were all ready for combat, until the two Nintendo employees decided. Miyamoto: For trying to cancel our game, you shall die! But you must die in battle. It shall be 2 on 2 combat! Miyamoto lifted his hand, trapping Quaunt, Ari, Mage, and Masta in a cage which was chained to the roof. As for Tendo and Rex, he changed them to normal size. Tendo: Bring it on! Rex: i still have a backpack full of waffles Reggie: My body is ready. -BATTLE ENGAGE- Toadsworth suddenly runs onto the screen. Toadsworth: MURIO YOU NEED TURTOAIL--'' '>Tendo selected Fight!' '>Tendo used Ice Ball!' Tendo quickly froze Toadsworth, then kicking him away, so he wouldn't have to go through a tutorial. '>Reggie used Ready Body!' '>Reggie's Defense went up by 2!' '>Rex used Waffle!' '>20 Damage dealt to Miyamoto and Reggie!' Reggie and Miyamoto both fell back in damage, but weren't done at all yet. It was now Miyamoto's turn. '>Miyamoto used Delay Pokemon Go!' '>Tendo recieved 55 Damage!' '>Tendo used Falcon Punch!' '>Reggie recieved 40 Damage!' Tendo stood there in shock and disappointment. ''Tendo: T--they delayed Pokemon Go?! NOOOOOOOOOO! >Tendo's Confidence and Hope was decreased by 5! >Tendo's Confidence and Hope is now Negative 15! >Rex used throw himself at the enemy while strapping a explosive to his elbows! >Everyone recieved 20 Damage! Tendo: REX YOU CAN'T JUST BE A SUICIDE BOMBER! Rex: I'm a waffle bomber, Tendo. >Tendo used Camilla Body Pillow! >Tendo was healed by 60 HP! >Miyamoto used announce Super Mario Galaxy 3 won't exist! >Tendo and Rex both took 40 Damage! >Reggie used Wii Fit Box Throw! >Tendo and Rex took 1 Damage! Tendo: Exercise?! My one weakness--wait it's just a empty box. Reggie: An empty box with a instruction manual! Tendo: ..This is a DBZ Manga. Reggie: You mean my distraction?! >Tendo's Attention went down by 20! Tendo: Agh! It has that weird dry paper that makes my hands feel like crap! >Tendo's Attention went up by 20! >Tendo's Hand Moisture went down by 59! Reggie began laughing evily, as his plan truly worked. Reggie: Without that Extra 59 Hand Moisture, you can no longer get critical hits--'' '>Tendo used wash his hands!' '>Tendo's Hand Moisture went up by 60!' ''Reggie: My body wasn't ready for that.. >Tendo used Pokeball! >Mewtwo was sent out! >Reggie used Master Ball! >Mewtwo was caught! Tendo: Hey! That's cheating! Reggie: i'm a nintendo worker so it isn't Tendo: Oh yeah?! Capture this! >Tendo sent out a Agumon! >Reggie and Miyamoto's HP went down by 14! Miyamoto: WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE THING?! KILL IT! Tendo: Now you're distracted! Rex, now! >Rex used rapidly beat them down with a baseball bat covered in spikes that's on fire while going for the throat multiple times! >Reggie and Miyamoto took 999 Damage! Reggie and Miyamoto both began falling to the ground. Reggie: M--my body..wasn't..ready.. Miyamoto: ..Ow..painfulness..we are defeat..ed..b..y..yo..u..and..yo..u..al..so--'' ''Tendo: Just get through saying it already! Miyamoto: But..you weren't prepared..for our final attack! Miyamoto quickly pulled out a shining object, which began changing through colors of the rainbow rapidly. Then a flash of light happened, sending away Tendo and Rex, and breaking the cage of the other Rebels, and turning them to normal size. Then the screen went black. The final chapter awaits. Chapter 5: Color Splashed (End) Nintendo Database.. Tendo, Ari, Rex, Mage, Quaunt, and Masta all laid on the ground of a virutial area, back in the Wii U. All six had taken major damage, hardly able to move from the flash of light Miyamoto sent. Miyamoto: It's over now, rebels. Color Splash WILL be released, and will doom the world.. A figure appeared before them, very shadowy. It was Miyamoto, but in a entire new form that they couldn't see yet. Each of the Rebels began standing up, slowly. Ari: so are we dying now Tendo: i think so because everyone dies when the cringey new paper mario game is for sale Quaunt: but i have so much i wanted to do in life Ari: like what Quaunt: nothing Masta: k so what now Rex: can i pet it Tendo: no Mage: i needed a line in the plot Rex: so what's with miyamoto Miyamoto: Are any of you even paying attention? Rex: did you go super saiyan Miyamoto: No. Well, sort of. I've absorbed the power of all the cringe in Paper Mario. All the salt given about Sticker Star and Color Splash. All the cringe power in the world, to become the cringiest being of them all! Tendo: so you became color splash? Miyamoto: No..I..am.. Rex: can i pet it Omega Miyamoto: no you can die though '-BATTLE ENGAGE! RPG STYLE, AGAIN!-' >Quaunt used Defensive Caveman Spongebob! >All Rebels' Defense went up by 30! >Omega Miyamoto used Sticker Star Giant Scissors!! >All Rebels took 20 Damage! >Tendo used Kamehameha! >Omega Miyamoto took 5 Damage! >Rex used attempt to pet Omega Miyamoto! >It's not very effective.. >Mage used Chainsaw! >Omega Miyamoto took 12 Damage! >Ari used Dank Blaster 9001! >Omega Miyamoto took 11 Damage! The Rebels stood there, there energy draining already, and the first turn wasn't even over. Omega Miyamoto was far too powerful, but they weren't going to give up trying yet. >Omega Miyamoto used Cliche Red Laser! >All Rebels took 26 Damage! >Quaunt used Spam Memes! >Omega Miyamoto was distracted! >Masta used Trash Body Pillow Time! >Omega Miyamoto was poisoned from the garbage! >Tendo used Throw Rex at It! >Rex and Omega Miyamoto took 2 Damage! >Rex used Throw Rex at It! >Rex and Omega Miyamoto took 2 Damage! >Omega Miyamoto isn't distracted anymore! >Omega Miyamoto used Status Effect Healer! >Omega Miyamoto was cured of his Poison! Tendo set Rex down, due to that attack not working at all. Tendo: nothings working what now Quaunt: keep punching it >Quaunt used Basic Punch Attack 17 + 2 >Omega Miyamoto took 1 Damage! >Omega Miyamoto used flick! >Quaunt took 14 Damage, and was flicked away! >Mage used Stab It In The Eye With A Chainsaw! >Omega Miyamoto took 20 Damage! >Rex used Feed It A Poison Waffle! >Omega Miyamoto took 50 Damage, and was poisoned! Ari: oh hey that one worked Rex: i like waffles Tendo: pancakes are better though Rex: excuse me you wot m8 >Rex used Stab Tendo even though it's not his turn! >Tendo took 14 Damage! >Omega Miyamoto used Headbutt! >All Rebels took 65 Damage! >Tendo used Camilla Body Pillow! >All Rebels were healed by 70! >Ari used Encouraging Memes! >All Rebels stats went up by 15! Tendo: alright let him have it. ultimate toad color attack of ultimateness time Quaunt: that's cliche and boring with lowercase Tendo: shhh that's the point >Rex used Pink Beam! >Quaunt used Green Beam! >Masta used Yellow Beam! >Tendo used Blue Beam! >Ari used Cyan Beam! >Mage used Rainbow Beam! >The Rebel Beams collided! >All Rebels Stats went up by 9999! >The Rebels used Super Ultra Omega Rainbow Collision Blue Green Yellow Cyan Rainbow Pink Ultra Rebel Toad Beam of Original! >Omega Miyamoto took 95438593475289437591387519838751946518651936514651398561395164951643591834651965 Damage! Omega Miyamoto: NOOOOOOO---'' Omega Miyamoto exploded, Miyamoto falling onto the ground. ''Miyamoto: C..c.. Tendo: wat ''Miyamoto: color splash is still coming out--'' Rex picked up Miyamoto and threw him out the window. The end. Category:Blog posts